BEBEU

I WISH I KNEW
By Sokha Ou-uun

Over thirty years ago I was on vacation with my family in Florida and there was an incident that I could not forget.  Remembering it now makes me feel ashamed of why I did not know any better.

Kampuchea Krom & Koh Trol in Light Blue

My family and I were going through the various attractions within Disney’s World Park.  I had made a reservation for dinner that day at what looked like a fancy Chinese restaurant inside the park; we were all looking forward to sitting down and having a nice and relaxed dinner at the end of the day. The last attraction we went to before dinner was the 180-degree dome theater.  The show was about China, its land, its people, and its beauty.

The show was spectacular.  We were visiting various parts of China by sitting on a virtual flying carpet.  We were flying from place to place, seeing modern Chinese sky rises, vast landscape, rivers, ancient cities full of past histories, and meeting people of different ethnics and backgrounds.  We saw the hectic life in big cities as well as the peaceful, soothing and calm way of life in the country side.  Then, an even more beautiful landscape appeared just ahead.

“To the West, our country, Tibet …...” said the Chinese film narrator as the beautiful scenery appeared. At that instance, I did not remember what came over, but I felt a burst of pain and screamed out: “Tibet is not China.”

(Detail of Kampuchea Krom and Koh Tral)

I was not sure if anybody could hear me because the sound system was blaring.  I became very upset such that I had to get out from the theater.  I ended up not going to the dinner at the Chinese restaurant as well, and therefore ruining the rest of the day for my family.

Now, whenever I recall that day, I feel so ashamed.  No, it is not because I had ruined that day for my family, but it is because I have realized how ignorant I was.  There I was, feeling the pain of the people of Tibet who had lost their lands and their culture to China, but knew nothing about the plight of Kampuchea Krom and Koh Tral Island.  Kampuchea Krom, home to millions of Khmers, about one third of the present Cambodia, size wise, was given to Vietnam by France in 1949 because Vietnam knew how to manipulate the Colonial France; Koh Tral is the largest island in the Golf of Siam situated within a stone's throw away from Cambodia main land, left undeveloped by Cambodia, but later occupied and renamed to Pho Qoc by Vietnam till the present day.

After some fifteen years of schooling in Cambodia, I knew nothing about my own country except that our ancestors had built Angkor Watt (one of the world's wonder), and we do not need to worry about our future because we were a great country compared to our neighbors.

At least that how we were taught to believe.   I am ashamed because my governments, past and present, do not make any efforts to remind us about our losses, but prefer to poison us with the idea that we are living in the greatest country on earth, while our map keeps shrinking such that the name of our country can no longer fit in, unless a larger-scale map is used.

That is what I am ashamed of.